Release

If there is pain in your past, you can talk about it today and release it today.  You may still think of it again, but perhaps the pain won't be as poignant as before.   Don't let past pain cripple your every new day.  Release.  

If there is anger and resentment in your heart, if someone has damaged you, forgive them.  You do not have to forget the damage, you do not have to accept that person as a part of your present life, but forgiveness is not for them, it is for you.  Please believe me when I say, your forgiveness is not to make them feel better, it makes you feel better.   Anger is a bitter drug and it will poison your entire life from the inside out.  Release.

If you have hurt someone in the past, please reach out to them.  They need to hear that you are aware you have hurt them and that you are sorry for the damage you have done.  Pretending that it did not happen is not equal to admitting guilt and asking forgiveness.  If they do not wish to speak to you, write a letter.  Once you have acknowledged the pain you have afflicted and asked for forgiveness, you have made the first and most important step.  The ball officially falls from your court.  Release.


I know this is heavy stuff during a time of happiness, gifts, and festivities, but I really hope that these thoughts can help someone today.  I hope to be able to provide a virtual gift.  The gift of emotional freedom!  Release yourself from the chains of negativity.  There is a lot of pain in the world and people have such a hard time dealing with it.  Something can happen in one instant and change the fabric of who you are for an eternity.

Please don't give anyone the power over you to derail your hopes, adventures, wishes, and dreams. 

Let 2011 be the year you Release.   

Until next time . . .

Our Christmas 2010

We had a wonderful holiday and hope your family did as well!!!

Big sighs of relief until another holiday rolls around.  Enjoy a few photos from our celebration.

Off to relax and enjoy my miraculously-still-spotless house!!

Until next time . . .

One Tippy Toe at a Time . . .

. . . is how you ease back into blogging after an extended absence, No?

Did anyone see the Lunar Eclipse?  When we went to bed last night, it was too cloudy to see much of anything, but around 3 o'clock this morning, it was very red and super cool.  Insomnia has its privileges. 

Baby Boy and I finished our Fall semesters successfully.  Whew!  I took 15 hours this semester, and let me just say that was too many.  Housework, schoolwork, sanity in general . . . it all suffered.  I'll be pulling back to part time in the spring.  Well . . . not exactly part time, but less than 15 hours.  Let's just say that. 

Great news!  I finally received my acceptance letter to my first choice university.  I have one more semester at the community college and then I'm headed for the Big Time.  I think Baby Boy is going to take another 2 or 3 semesters before he's ready to transfer.  He has a very strategic plan.   

I'm still trying to get motivated for Christmas. 

My sister bought a new house and graciously hosted Thanksgiving Dinner there, but it looks like it's back over here for Christmas Eve Dinner for Mom #2's daughter and her brood and Christmas Day Dinner for my family this year. 

I won't bore you with all the details, but I have extreme entertaining anxiety, and I am not looking forward to any of it.  I hate holidays, but I've already got the house-cleaning list up on the white board.  Grab a pair of rubber gloves and come on over if you have any free time.


Did y'all see Fabio win Survivor?  I thought he was so cute during the season, but on the reunion show, I didn't really care for his haircut.  I liked it better long.  Not that he's asking me for any styling tips now that he has a million dollars.  I could use a donation though, so if any of you know him personally, send him by my house, LOL. 

OK, I think that's all for now.  I'll try not to be such a stranger.





Until next time . . .

*SIGH* Just Like Old Times

In my never-ending quest to find a way to pass Biology (Oh, that class!), my lab group and I went on an extra credit field trip to a local zoo, wildlife preserve, and animal sanctuary.  We spent the day classifying animals.  Baby Boy came along as my official tutor and tour guide.

We had so much fun! 

I mean, it was so reminiscent of our homeschool field trips!  I think Baby Boy and I may have irritated my lab group because we had so much fun together and almost forgot that we were supposed to be there in an academic capacity.  A lot of them are very young and I don't think they're used to young adults and their parents getting along so well.  Actually, for the first time in almost a year, we forgot about classroom  academics and went back to learning as fun and exciting and doesn't need to take place in the confines of four walls.  It was such a liberating day!

I usually hate to see animals in cages of any kind, but this particular zoo is actually made up of retired circus performers, confiscated exotic pets, and abandoned animals, so I know that this is a safe place for these animals to live out their golden years. 

  There were tigers.  They were very big and scary, until they started whining and crying like kitty cats when the zookeeper showed up with a bunch of pumpkins.  Apparently pumpkins are delicious to tigers.  

Baby Boy took this close-up of a lion.  I was too scared to get that close. 

 The tortoises were HUMONGOUS!

Lots of peacocks roamed free.  

 Some parrots even talked to us.  

  Oh, my new love affair is with this potbellied pig!  She wagged her tail at me and even posed like a model for several photos.  I wanted to give her a big kiss and bring her home.

 Look at the little chicken family.  Aren't they cute!

 Llamas!

 The goats are the only animals that they'd let us pet, so we petted them for about an hour, LOL. We LOVE animals. 

I'm not sure if this was a good trip or a bad trip for me.  I've been really going through homeschool withdrawal lately.  I'm seriously missing all the time Baby Boy and I spent learning, living, and growing together.  I do love the young man he's become, but, boy do I feel old and useless most days.  

Actually, now that I think about it, it was a very good trip.  An amazing trip!  I'm trying to focus on cherishing  all the time we have together instead of mourning the time we spend apart.  At least that's what I'm telling myself.  ;-)

Now I'm off to write that report.  Oy!

Until next time . . .

Freaky Foods

I had two separate freaky food experiences this weekend:

First of all, Baby Boy convinced me to try sushi.  Here's what it looked like.

 

It tasted . . . interesting.  Baby Boy ate all of it, so I guess he liked it. 

I don't think I'm cut out for raw . . . whatever that was. If anyone can enlighten me on that pile of green stuff and that folded mass of pinkish-orange meat-type substance, feel free.  As much as I consider myself a well traveled and fairly educated woman, I'm a simple meat-and-potatoes type eater. 

Then, we ran out of the potatoes we grew in our garden, so we had to buy some from the store.  Imagine our surprise when THIS rolled onto the kitchen counter.

All together now, can you say GMO foods?

As you can imagine, we only needed one potato to feed all of us, LOL.


Until next time . . .

Shock and Devastation

I hate to break my extended silence for such a depressing topic, but I need some blog therapy right now. Please feel free to stop reading now.



Today I have tears, tears, tears.

A very sweet, handsome, artistic, caring, funny, homeschooled friend about Baby Boy's age took his own life very recently.  He's been in our home, to Baby Boy's birthday parties, and to many functions where homeschooling families hang out.  I wouldn't say our families were super-close, but I think we can confidently call ourselves friends.

I'm taking this terribly hard.  It really saddens me that a young man felt his only option was to end his own life before it really had a chance to begin.  I just feel so sorry.  Sorry for him.  Sorry for his Mom.  Sorry for his family.  Sorry for his friends.  Sorry for Baby Boy.  Sorry for myself.  

I'm actually surprised at all the emotions that have been stirred up.  I suddenly feel all those aches and pains that I went through as a young person.  You know, I was a bonafide freak when I was a teen.  Not a mild freak, a REALLY freaky freak.  I was the one who ate lunch in the hallway on the steps to keep from getting picked on.  Shoot!  I still am, I just don't care what anyone thinks anymore.  I struggled with sexual identity, weight issues, poverty embarrassment, and just plain old-fashioned puberty.  Mom #2 and I both had separate struggles that led us to and from the brink of suicide, but luckily we had forces in our lives who pulled us back.  I wish this young man had been so fortunate.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here.  Just . . . if you know a young person who is struggling with who they are, please encourage them.  Let them know that it will certainly get better. 

I'm amazed at all the beautiful young people who feel hopeless.  What's going to become of the future if all the sensitive, creative souls are snuffed out?  We NEED them!

Live! Love! Laugh! Come out of the shadows and be yourselves!  WE NEED YOU!

I guess I just want everyone to hug their children a little tighter today and, if they want to talk, listen.  Even if they don't want to talk, talk to them.  I just don't want to hear about another life lost. 

I don't even know how I'm going to look into this Mom's eyes.  She just lost her precious baby boy. 

Please keep her family, and ours in your hearts today.

That's all.


Until next time . . .

Alive and Testy

I just finished my first round of tests for this semester.  In three classes all on the same day.  The fourth class was an essay.  Essays are the one thing I seem to be good at, so although worrying is what I seem to do best, I'm trying not to freak all-the-way out over it.  British Lit is kind of a *yawn* subject for me.  I just finished reading Frankenstein for the third time, so at least I know it's something I can discuss intelligently.  Hurray for Baby Boy and his love of science fiction.  Hurray for homeschool.

So far I'm staying firmly in the A area in all classes except biology where I have a hard B.   You know, the kind of B that feels like an A+.  That class is so hard.  I don't even know what language the professor is speaking half the time.

Baby Boy is majoring in Biology.  It's so hilarious how the fruit of my loins can be of such a different flavor than I am in every conceivable way.  He's been tutoring me in both biology and my math class.  If it weren't for him, I'd probably be rocking a D-.  Not a good look for my GPA.

Speaking of Baby Boy, he's doing great so far this semester.  This is his first semester officially all on his own.  The last two semesters we've been on the same campus and had at least one class together each term while I finished up some prerequisites.  This term he is at a separate campus on different days studying subjects that I just gloss by in the catalog.  He's officially all the way out of my league.  It happens faster than you know, Moms.  Treasure the time when you are academically smarter than your children.  Luckily, our tuition covers lots and lots of free tutoring . . . because there is absolutely none available for him at home.  Well, if he needs help with organization and time management, then I'm the Queen.  Course content?  Get back in the car and head to the tutoring lab.  I'm out of answers.

I actually have lots of stuff to blog about, but I'll stop there for now and try not to be such a stranger in the future.  School has me seriously overwhelmed this semester, plus I'm still waiting to hear from my top pick of transfer locations.  I'll take any and all prayers, well wishes, good vibes, positive energy . . . whatever you have to offer . . . my anxiety level is a bit too high for my liking.  *SIGH*  Such is life, I guess.


Until next time . . .

Eat Much?

Well, it turns out I'm officially a failure.

I'll admit that I've been a little high strung with research, writing, re-writing and studying in the big push for the final week of the summer semester.  Add that to supporting Baby Boy in his college classes, my usual CEO of the household duties, and overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.  Yes, I'm a little high strung.  So high strung in fact that Mom #2 voluntarily offered to take over the family cooking duties for me. 

People in this house don't volunteer for chores.  Don't get me wrong.  Chores do happen.  Regularly.  But extra chores?  Voluntarily?  Those simply do not happen.  So I'm not sure where this came from.  All I can say is that I either look a disaster, the food coming from my kitchen must be gross, or my loud and persistent whining and complaining must be getting on her nerves.  One of those, I'm sure. 

Anyway, I felt awful.  It really gut-punched me that I appear to need help.  I like doing it all.  Well, I like the idea of doing it all.  I actually hate to cook.  Even though I do.  Every.  Single.  Day. So reluctantly, (wink wink) I accepted her offer.  She can cook the meals.    

That was on Friday.  Fast forward to Monday. 

Imagine my surprise when I emerged from my research den about 30 minutes 'till dinner time and Mom #2 was sitting in her chair with her feet up and there was no aroma of delicious food coming from the kitchen.  When I inquired "what's for dinner" I kid-you-not she looked at me like I had grown another head.  Then she had the nerve to say "we don't have anything to cook, let me go to the store." 

Oh, I forgot to tell you.  Mom #2 enjoys cooking under very specific circumstances:  when she has the day off, when  she sees an interesting recipe she wants to try on the Food Network, or when her Mom tries a new recipe and she wants to outdo her.  She doesn't really understand the day-to-day cooking that has to happen so that the people in this house don't starve. 

Yes, the family has to be fed every day. 

After I gave her a quick inventory on how food works, she did manage to throw together a scrumptious meal.  Now she knows how it feels to be Mom #1. 

Get it together, Missy!


Until next time . . .

Who I Am

This week Obi-Mom Kenobi posted about knowing who you are, who you aren't, and who you are becoming.  I had so much fun reading and relating to her list, that I thought I'd do one of my own:

• I am an unapologetic lover of all dogs
• I am more of an audio book listen-to-er than an actual reader
• I am content to call the house clean without mopping the kitchen floor
• I am a free-range parent on the outside who screams bloody murder on the inside
• I am sort of a hippie who does occasionally shave the pits but never the legs
• I am anxiously watching my Baby Boy become Big Boy/Young Man
• I am a nervous yet excited second chance college student
• I am the kind of guest who always shows up late, but will enthusiastically help with the clean-up
• I am an enthusiastic wearer of make up, especially mascara, my own private paradise
• I am anal about schedules, organization, structure and order
• I am addicted to text messaging
• I am in total and complete love with the beach 
• I am the kind of person who cannot sleep with dirty dishes in the sink

• I am not a natural or joyous cook
• I am not a good hostess
• I am not interested in talking on the telephone - ever
• I am not ever going to be thin (apparently)
• I am not good at math (this may be a problem next semester)
• I am not comfortable "going with the flow"
• I am not comfortable without a functioning high-speed internet connection

• I am hopefully becoming a more loving Mom, Spouse, Daughter, Sister, and Friend . . . everyday

So . . . what are you?  What aren't you?  What are you becoming?


Tell me about it.



Until next time . . .

Serendipitous Snacks

Remember that sunflower I showed you a few weeks ago?   

Well today it went from that  . . .

. . . to this . . .

. . . then to this . . .

. . . and, finally, to this!  Yum!!

Happy Snacking! 

Until next time . . .

I. Need. To. Plan. SOMETHING!!!!

This is usually the time of year when I browse curriculum sites . . . spend long leisurely days at used bookstores cultivating just the right reading lists . . . put mountains of books on reserve at all of the local libraries. 

*SIGH* 

You know, it's almost time for the beginning of the new school year, but this year I'm not a Homeschool Mom.

I'm the Mom of a college student and in a strange and unusual twist of fate, I'm a college student again myself.

I've been trying to convince Baby Boy that college isn't really all it's cracked up to be and that we should maybe do just one more year of high school to be sure he has all of his bases covered.  He's not buying it. 

Right now I'm supposed to be writing a research paper, but my mind keeps wandering to the local teacher supply store where they have all of those beautiful, informative, colorful, educational posters.  They would look so lovely in our classroom.  Every.  Single.  One.  of them.  I always enjoyed decorating our classroom each year with a different educational theme. 

If anyone has any spare kidletts they want me to teach, I'm available.  Oh, I don't feed, cook, or clean - only teach, LOL.  

So while lesson planning and curriculum researching may seem stressful to you other Homeschooling Moms, believe me it's not nearly as stressful as not lesson planning and curriculum researching.   

*SIGH*


By the way, if anyone wants to help me compare and contrast the central conflicts in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button the book versus the movie, feel free to drop me a line.  I'm simply not focused enough today.


Until next time . . .

Because One Graduation is Never Enough!

Our Homeschool Group had another graduation celebration at the park last week! 

One graduate has an out-of-town emergency on the day we had our end-of-the-year-non-graduation-graduation-celebration,  so we thought we'd have another celebration at the park.  Also it was a great opportunity for all of us used-to-be-homeschool-Moms to get together and chat.  Ironically, every single one of us is Mom to an only child, so it's been a pretty bittersweet graduation season for all of us.  Don't get me started on that; it's a whole other post.

We've been having lovely weather (what I mean by lovely is below 110 degrees) and even a little rain, so we thought we'd hold it outside at the park. 

First they played a few games of Ultimate Frisbee (I don't have any photos because I was too busy laughing and talking with the other Moms, LOL). Also, it rained off and on and while I fully support Ultimate in the rain, I also have nappy-black-girl-hair, so I had to watch from a distance under the trees. ;-) 

Then we had lunch (You don't really want any photos of us eating, do you?).

Then the graduates took turns signing the Spirit Stick, (A stick that has been passed on to each graduating class for the last 10 years) and passed it on to the junior class for the 2011 graduates.

Our 2010 Graduating Class

 

Yes, that's Baby Boy's friend-who's-a-girl-but-definitely-isn't-his-girlfriend-because-we're-very-focused-on-education-right-now-because-didn't-you-say-you-wanted-to-go-to-med-school-young-man.  She's technically not in our Homeschool Group, but she also recently finished her homeschool journey, and as far as we're concerned the more the merrier.

So Silly.

Then we all headed over to the coolest natural springs pool in the world and lounged and chatted the afternoon away while the graduates swam and played even more Ultimate.  (No photos of us in our swimsuits.  We don't want you to have to gouge your own eyes out, LOL).

We decided that we're going to keep meeting semi-regularly as an alumni group, or at the very least, a Mom's Need Friends Too group, because we love each others' company so much.  

A great time was had by all.

Until next time . . .

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Look who moved into our garden . . .

Goodness!  Those sunflowers are working already.

Until next time . . .

Our Sunflowers . . .

. . . Are doing great! 

They are so big and beautiful and bringing lots of fabulous bees to help pollinate the rest of the garden.

Baby Boy doesn't really like standing in the morning sun, but I needed a reference to show how tall they are, LOL.

Have a Marvelous Monday and a fantastic rest of the week!

Until next time . . .

I Guess You Know . . .

 . . . that your garden is too green, thick and luscious when the baby bunny rabbits don't even bother hiding anymore when they sun themselves right between the lettuce, cantaloupe, and carrots.

Look how laissez-faire this little so-and-so is.

 

Baby Boy and I got a kick out of it . . . but SHHHHH!  

Don't tell Mom #2 . . . 'cuz she's huntin' wabbits! 

Happy Summer Solstice!!!!

Until next time . . .

Mother, May I

Have you ever gotten bad news?  Not a little bad news, a lot of bad news.

You know, like, the dryer's broken (see previous post); every time you go to the mailbox there's nothing but bills you can't afford to pay; the college counselor repeatedly screws up your son's financial aid paperwork so that he may not be awarded in time for next semester . . . yadda yadda yadda.  I'm sure you're all familiar with bad news.

Then . . . you receive a teeny weeny kernel of good news.  Really good news.  Great news.

Is it selfish to want to keep that grain of good news to yourself for a little while and just enjoy it like a secret pet?  Is it wrong to rub it and pet it and visit it whenever the inevitable more bad news shows up?

Or should you make the good news common knowledge so that everyone can bask in its glow?

I know I sound selfish, but it just seems like in a Mom's life there are so few times when we are allowed to have a secret.  Secrets are fun.  I want a secret.

I realize I'm talking in circles, so I'm going to shut it down now.

*SIGH*   

Oh, and don't worry.  I already came clean, but it was fun while it lasted.  ;-)

Until next time . . .

Going Green . . . or. . . Decisively Desperate?

Our clothes dryer has been broken for a couple of weeks now.

At first we did tiny loads and hung things around the house, but today Baby Boy and I were feeling inspired, so we decided to make use of the fantabulous weather we've been having.

Well, it's too hot for people to be outside, but it's just right for drying laundry.

Actually, everything smells so clean and feels so fresh, we may just keep it up awhile, you know until the Homeowners' Association sends around that pesky cease and desist letter, LOL.

 

In case you're wondering, yes, that is the old skeleton of one of those portable cabanas you take to the beach.  We haven't been to the beach in a while, so at least it's getting used for something. 

Until next time . . .

It's a GRADUATION CELEBRATION!!!

Our homeschool group had a fabulous end-of-the-year-non-graduation-graduation-celebration this weekend.

It was a great way to socialize, eat, dance, honor the graduates who wanted to be honored and not honor the graduates who did not want to be honored.  How's that for diversity, LOL.

Talking about the homeschool experience and plans for the future.  

Opening gifts that will be of good use during his college days.

First look at the diploma. 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

It's not a party until everyone dances with Grandma! 

Remember the Macarena?

The friend-who's-a-girl-but-definitely-not-his-girlfriend . . . or whatever. 

We had such a great time and the mood was lighthearted and festive enough that I didn't have to cry at all. 

We all danced and laughed and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning.  Mom #2 and I felt so grown up.  We're usually in bed by 10:30 PM, LOL.  

I think we all consider that a complete success.  

Until next time . . .