Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Shock and Devastation

I hate to break my extended silence for such a depressing topic, but I need some blog therapy right now. Please feel free to stop reading now.

Today I have tears, tears, tears.

A very sweet, handsome, artistic, caring, funny, homeschooled friend about Baby Boy's age took his own life very recently.  He's been in our home, to Baby Boy's birthday parties, and to many functions where homeschooling families hang out.  I wouldn't say our families were super-close, but I think we can confidently call ourselves friends.

I'm taking this terribly hard.  It really saddens me that a young man felt his only option was to end his own life before it really had a chance to begin.  I just feel so sorry.  Sorry for him.  Sorry for his Mom.  Sorry for his family.  Sorry for his friends.  Sorry for Baby Boy.  Sorry for myself.  

I'm actually surprised at all the emotions that have been stirred up.  I suddenly feel all those aches and pains that I went through as a young person.  You know, I was a bonafide freak when I was a teen.  Not a mild freak, a REALLY freaky freak.  I was the one who ate lunch in the hallway on the steps to keep from getting picked on.  Shoot!  I still am, I just don't care what anyone thinks anymore.  I struggled with sexual identity, weight issues, poverty embarrassment, and just plain old-fashioned puberty.  Mom #2 and I both had separate struggles that led us to and from the brink of suicide, but luckily we had forces in our lives who pulled us back.  I wish this young man had been so fortunate.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here.  Just . . . if you know a young person who is struggling with who they are, please encourage them.  Let them know that it will certainly get better. 

I'm amazed at all the beautiful young people who feel hopeless.  What's going to become of the future if all the sensitive, creative souls are snuffed out?  We NEED them!

Live! Love! Laugh! Come out of the shadows and be yourselves!  WE NEED YOU!

I guess I just want everyone to hug their children a little tighter today and, if they want to talk, listen.  Even if they don't want to talk, talk to them.  I just don't want to hear about another life lost. 

I don't even know how I'm going to look into this Mom's eyes.  She just lost her precious baby boy. 

Please keep her family, and ours in your hearts today.

That's all.

Until next time . . .


Mel R said...

This brings tears to my eyes. Such a tragedy. I'm so sorry.

Obi-Mom Kenobi said...

Nothing I can say. Just... (Hug) to you all.

Katy said...

Oh God, that is awful. So very sorry for the poor family and all his friends. You will all be in my thoughts.

Ami said...

There are never the right words. So sorry this has happened in the lives of you and all your friends.


Holly said...

So heartbreaking.

You will be in my thoughts.

Jana C. said...

My heart is breaking for you all. My thoughts are with you and yours. And everyone else who loved or knew this child. Thank you for putting it out there.

I am sure this will help someone somewhere. Many of us need to be able to come out of the closet, to be free. To be accepted for who we are !

:)De said...

heartbreaking...When you see his mom and give her a hug, squeeze her just a bit more for us.

I am so sorry for your loss and you are right to feel this sadness because when we lose a child, anyone's child, we all lose a child. How is Baby Boy?


Jennifer in Vancouver said...

I am so, so sorry to hear about this young man. If only those teens who struggle so much could realize that things will get better! How do we communicate this to them? Not to throw away their future!

We're sending out cyber hugs to you all.

karisma said...

I am so sorry for your loss, big big hugs. My heart goes out to his family and friends right now. Sending much love your way. xoxoxoxox

Rebel said...

I can not imagine the pain this mother must be feeling. I am so sorry for your loss. You will all be in my thoughts.

Holmes Family said...

*Hugs* *Hugs* There have been so many of these lately. And each one is heartbreaking. *sigh* Our young people are in crisis.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness... Hugs and healing thoughts to this boy's family, and those who have been affected by this awful loss.

topsy-techie said...

So, so painful. I'm a child of suicide and for family members, it just can't get much worse because you are constantly asking there something else I could have done differently to help?? Praying peace and comfort for this family and for all who knew this young man!

TaraChristiane said...

You, Baby Boy, Mom #2, the young man's spirit and his family are all in my thoughts. Sending hugs, love and light.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for everyone who loved and cared for this man. I honestly wish I had words of wisdom, but I don't. I can't imagine the helplessness that one must feel to take their own lives. It breaks my heart. Cyber hugs to you all.

Jason, as himself said...

As I live and breathe...look who's here!

But I am so sorry to hear about Baby Boy's friend. I was a lot like how you described yourself. It was pretty bad sometimes. But somehow I made it through. I guess we were just lucky to have what it took (whatever that was) to keep plugging away.

So tragic. I'm so sorry.

michelle said...

That is so heartbreaking and I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

Prayers and sympathy to you and Baby Boy, and to all who knew and loved that poor boy.

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