OK - Let Me Just Talk This Anxiety Out, Please.

I'm feeling better today.

Not perfect, but better than I have all week.

I think my antibiotics are finally starting to work on my abscess. It's a great big, pussy, disgusting abscess that is in my upper right wisdom tooth and pressing up against my sinus cavity. I have a fairly severe pain directly in my tooth as well as in my jawbone and in the front of my face above the sinus cavity. I'm also alternating darvocet and ibuprofen, with minimal results.

It's so funny because one day I was fine, then all of a sudden I wake up hurting so badly I couldn't talk or eat or sit or stand-up or lay down or be alive without hurting.

Why is it always so extreme? I have always had extreme health. I'm either totally healthy or I totally feel like I'm going to die. Why?

Mom #2 and Baby Boy have been taking very good care of me. It's great to have such a wonderful family. Mom #2 is making me her fabulous passed down from grandma homemade Mexican chicken soup. It's a rarity but has true-blue healing powers, which is good because I can use some true-blue healing right about now.

I have had to ditch my low-carb diet. I have the kind of stomach that likes to expel medications . . . so I have to eat very heavy foods like chili with cheese and peanut butter toast in order to keep my medications down. It's a weird thing. I don't know how to explain it. I'll probably try to get back on after Thanksgiving. I'm still 13 pounds down, though . . . many many more to go. *SIGH*

I'm starting to get a very nervous about Friday.

I've had one wisdom tooth removed surgically before. They used that "conscious sedation" method on me, which is basically when they give you a bunch of sleeping pills and then operate on you real fast before you wake up.

Apparently all of my deep dark dental fears came careening out of my mouth when I was under the influence of these drugs. I honestly don't remember any of this, but according to Mom #2, I told her right in front of the nurse that she had to "watch out for those people because they just want to rip us off" and I kept telling her to "cover up my legs so that perverted dentist doesn't look up my dress" and of course, to top it all off, I looked at the dentist right in the eyes and told him "Please don't rape me."

What the . . . ?

I guess you can say, I have an acute fear of dentists. Why would anyone want to be a dentist? I can't think of a worse job to have. I know they are necessary. Why is dental health care so expensive? I better let that question drop right here. I have much pent up aggression regarding the cost of dental care. This would not be the time to go into it. Perhaps after I pay the bill for having my tooth pulled; I'm sure that will give me the strength to get it all out.

OK. I'm officially rambling. That must mean I'm at the end.

Thanks for letting me talk this out with y'all. If you're of the praying persuasion, please do so . . . I'll also take all well-wishes, good vibes, ritualistic chants . . . whatever method your positive energy comes in - I'll take it.


I'm not picky.


Until next time . . .