Friday, July 25, 2008

I'm Going To Need Some Support . . . Sad and Scared Today . . .

I really don't know how to start this off. I am having a very bad day. I may or may not have mentioned this, but my Mother recently divorced my father after 36 years of marriage. Neither of them are perfect, but they probably could have worked it out, after all, they had been working it out for 36 years.

My mother has a very long history of mental illness. She is prone to severe depression, paranoia, some schizophrenic tendencies. One thing she really likes to do is decide that everyone at her job is plotting to gang up on her, make her feel stupid, and get her fired. What she usually does is quit said job so she can "show them." That usually is the catalyst for a long list of other unreasonable behaviors
that land her in therapy sometimes inpatient / sometimes outpatient depending on the severity. She has a cemetery full of job headstones that have bit the dust due to this behavior. On a couple of occasions, she has had emotional breakdowns on the job and has had to be carried away by police or ambulance.

She refuses to acknowledge this mental illness. As far as she is concerned, we want to control her actions and it simply does not exist. Our regular positive relationship goes straight into the toilet when she is in her "condition."

Last Thursday, she walked into her job and quit.

When I asked her why she quit. She said that her boss was talking to her about some paperwork but at the same time was sending her subliminal messages that she doesn't have any common sense and she was being given just enough rope to hang herself.

I'm so scared for her. I'm so scared for my whole family. The hills and valleys that my family goes through during her "episodes" are not cute. They are not funny. They are not entertaining. They are downright miserable.

Mom #2, my sister and I went over to her apartment yesterday to stage some sort of intervention to ask her to get help now before she spirals too far out of control. She got very angry, tried to curse us out (but she doesn't curse, so that part was actually quite amusing), and then proceeded to try to throw us out of her house for not trusting her decision making abilities.

My Dad has always taken care of her during these times, and in all honesty, he really does still love her and pretty much still supports her financially even though she threw him out of their family home and treats him like an ATM. They'd been married since they were 16 and 19, and he really doesn't know who else he's supposed to love now.

Since she's no longer married and I'm the oldest, I think I have to step up and try to get her the help she needs, but my stubborn irreverent attitude is something I inherited solely from my very difficult mother.

It's going to be a long summer.

If you have any positive energy to spare, please put it in a box and send it my way.

Until next time . . .


Anonymous said...


I know this can be extremely difficult. Is she in a place where you can do a medical intervention? Does your state even have this law?

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Take care of yourself and your family.

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart. I just peeked in on you. You were on my mind. I will be praying for your family. I have an uncle with the same story.

Ami said...

I wrote up a long comment for you. Blogger ate it.

I'm sending all my good thoughts your way.

As a survivor of a mentally ill parent, I so understand. It's not funny. It's not cute. It just hurts.


Anonymous said...

Sending good energy your way.

SabrinaT said...

Sending you good energy!!!!!
I hope things get better for your mother and you!

Rebel said...

I'll keep you in my thoughts and send some positive energy your way. Mental illness is so hard to deal with. It's nearly impossible to get someone involuntarily commited even when she IS a danger to herself. I know. I've tried.

Jason said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. This kind of stuff is so horrendous. I've had my share of dealing with mental illness in loved ones, too. I wish there was some way to fix it, or figure it out, or make sense of it, or knock some sense into their heads.

Keep us posted on what's going on. I'll be thinking about you!!!

Heather said...

I agree with Holly; talk to the doctor (hers or yours) about a medical intervention. I'm not sure if it's a state to state thing, but here you only need three signatures from close family members to have someone involuntarily committed for evaluation.

I make jokes about mental illness, but it comes from actually knowing the difference between *real* mental illness and just weirdo quirks. There's a HUGE difference between being a little f'ed up (funny) and needing help (not funny). The best thing you can do is try to get her the help she needs.

I'll be thinking of you and your family. I hope you find some kind of solution.

:)De said...

Being the oldest is heavy... Wishing you well.

Freakmom said...

Sending you all the vibes and good wishes I can find. (((((Mom#!))))

Anonymous said...

Sending good thoughts your way. I hope you can find a way for your mom to get the help she needs. ((()))

Amy -

regularmom said...


My mom's a bit of a nut, too. I know how it is. You hang in there.

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