Holiday Honey-Do

Here's a list of things that need to get done before we can consider this a successful Christmas.

This is a list for everyone in the house to work from, not just me, although I think we can all agree that I'm the most psychotic and anal retentive serious about making sure it all gets done.

During Holiday season, I generally do the majority of the cleaning and Mom #2 does the majority of the cooking. I have no patience for meals that take more than an hour or so . . . so everyone lives to die another day benefits from me not being in the kitchen during this time of year.

Oh, and if you're wondering why some or all of this wasn't done in advance instead of being saved for the last minute, the answer's simple:

I. Have. A. Problem.

Housework must be done directly before guests walk into the house. Clean has a special feel and aroma. It cannot be imitated, duplicated or preserved. A house that is clean and sits is not as delicious or impressive as a freshly cleaned house. I know, sad, but true. Many prayers for my family. They have to live with it all. year. long.


Wish us luck!

• Get up EARLY CHECK!
  

• Wash dishes (For the first time in GENERATIONS we manged to get to bed last night without a clean kitchen. My whole face is twitching which is why I'm up at such an ungodly hour writing this.)
  

• Wash dog

• Trim dog's toenails
  

• Sweep floors

• Mop floors

• Vacuum carpet

• Clean guest bathroom (to MY standards, not general purpose cleaning)

• Dust EVERYTHING

• Wrap gifts for Mom #2's grandchildren (because I'm too young and fresh-faced to be a grandma), daughter and guest (LOL), who will be coming over for Christmas Eve Dinner

• Prepare big enchilada dinner

• Be gracious hostess for above mentioned dinner which should last just long enough, but not too long as many chores still need to be done once they leave
  

• Wash dishes, again

• Revisit sweeping, mopping and vacuuming but hopefully not as aggressively as before
  

• Pick up Christmas gifts from their secret sneaky-teenage-son-proof-location

• Wrap above mentioned gifts and also wrap the gift for my Baby Niece (I hate wrapping gifts and prefer to leave it until the last possible moment. This strategy has obviously not served me well this year.)
  

• Write my Mom a Christmas gift letter congratulating her on all the hard emotional work she's done this year with her mental illness because, even though my entire family agreed months ago that we'd only purchase gifts for the children this year, her quack of a therapist thinks we're gypping her out of her apparent birthright to have a present. *SIGH* This bullet could be parlayed into an entire blog post all on it's own . . . but I'll just let it sit at that for now. Maybe we can discuss it in detail after the New Year. I'll bring the couch. I'm sure I'll need to lie down (or is it lay down . . . no time for a grammar lesson today).
  

• Get to bed early enough so that Santa Clause doesn't pass our house up

• Get up EARLY Christmas Morning and hope Santa did indeed make it by

• Have a short but sweet intimate 3-people-and-a-dog Christmas Morning
  

• Put Christmas turkey in the roaster
  

• Go to Mom #2's parents' house to have a delicious Christmas Morning Breakfast
  

• Come home and prepare big Christmas Dinner

• Yet again, be the Hostess with the Mostess as my Sister, Niece, Mom and Dad are coming over for Christmas Dinner

• Wash dishes, again
  

• Go to bed . . . and sleep-sleep-sleep . . . until it all feels like a god forsaken nightmare dream

Everyone please have a lovely and safe Holiday. Be well and laugh loudly as often as possible. Spend it with someone you love and who loves you right back.

Until next time . . .