Saturday, May 10, 2008

Say Something Saturday - Take 7

This weeks assignment, is to make up a story about this picture. The longer the better.


Things. Are. Tough.

I'm getting so exhausted with the constant bickering and arguing over absolutely nothing. I am beginning to think that our relationship has run it's course. This is a disaster. The very thought of it is so depressing, I mean we started out so compatible. There has never been another person in the heavens or on earth who can see me, hear me, feel me and just know without having to say a word. I literally thought we were soul mates. It seems that lately the "flow" of our lives has just been "off." We keep trying to reconnect and and regroup and make it fresh, but the stale just stays stale. I just don't think we're going to make it.

What I really need is some time to think this through. Honestly, do I really want to break up my family and home life? Do I really want to give up the secure comfort that home brings and step out into a dark and desperately unknown world? What about the kids? Do I want to be a part time parent? This is seriously the most important decision I have ever had to make.

So I set out on a sabbatical. A nice extended vacation all by myself to clear my head and recharge my mind. I need to put a lot of things into perspective and make a clear and concise decision on the direction I want my life to go. I need to point my future in a positive direction an then follow it all the way through.

So, here I am.

I'm spending the week hiking and walking and reading and thinking. I did some reminiscing: laughing sometimes and crying sometimes over the good and bad times we've had together. I ate fish from the crystal clear stream, did some hiking on the rocks and the mountains, and relaxed in the wildflower laden valley. I've never felt so clear-minded, serene and at one with nature and myself. I did a lot of talking out loud to myself. I'm sure the bunny rabbits thought I was insane! I finished reading some good books that I've been keeping on the back burner. I feel this is really time well spent.

But now I need to get down to business. I need to make that decision, jump that hurdle, get this monkey off my back. Do I stay or do I go? It's an age old question, but can be answered in so very many different ways. I close my eyes and lay on my back savoring the incredible feeling of the sun warming my eyelids. I say a silent prayer, forget it, I'm out in the midst of nature, I say a prayer right out loud.

Do I need to work on my anger? Do I need to start keeping my attitude in check? Am I the problem? Do I want to step out on my own? Do I want to keep my family together, or is it time to start a new life in a different setting? So many questions, but what I'm really praying for is answers. Please, if You're up there, and I know you are, just give me a sign.

I open my eyes and right out here in the middle of nowhere, where I haven't seen a single solitary soul in seven whole days, I see two beautiful hot air balloons, side by side and floating in perfect harmony, almost like they are connected by some unseen but definite invisible gravitational force holding them in tandem for eternity.

So I smile, get up, pack up my knapsack, and go home . . . where I belong.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Until next time . . .


kitten said...

Was you talking about my life? How did you know? LOL!
Wonderful! I loved it much!

Heather said...

I know I'm a bit late on this one, but wanted to tell you I really enjoyed this. Excellent job!

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